During my teen years I dated a guy who displeased my parents, my mother especially. So I avoided her as much as possible, fearing potential conflict. My strategy for avoiding confrontation was to manage my life in such a way as to not be alone with her. The tension in our relationship created by my actions was real and, unfortunately, my fears of being confronted with the truth about the situation caused me to avoid contact with one of the people who loved me most.
Your feelings about getting alone with another person are based on the status of your relationship, what you know about yourself, or what you believe about that person. A talk with your boss will be a treat if your relationship is strong and you have a sense that he or she affirms your work. On the other hand, if you know the company is making cuts and you fear your boss does not value your contributions to the organization, you may try to stay “under the radar” and avoid conversations with your superior. Likewise, going out to dinner with your spouse will be the highlight of your week if your love is mutual and fulfilling, or may be something you dread if you know there are problems plaguing your marriage.
Does the thought of getting alone with God create anxiety or bring joy? Like our relationships with people, the responses we give to that question will likely depend on the status of our relationship with Him and what we believe about His character. If we don’t trust God or believe His motives toward us are completely good, we may avoid one on one time with Him for fear of confrontation.
If we are dabbling in darkness or holding on to habits we know He abhors, we may be afraid. If, on the other hand, we believe God is completely trustworthy and kind in all His actions toward us we will not be afraid to get alone with God. In fact, like David, we will be able to say, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23, 24). What an expression of complete trust!
God longs for one on one time with us. Being the relational God that He is, our heavenly Father continually seeks to connect authentically with us. He wants intimacy with us; but do we fear intimacy with Him?
Trusting God to deal gently with us and believing that His motives are always good will eliminate the fear of getting alone with God. Like the psalmist, I can completely open up my life to a God who has known me and loved me even before I was born. (Psalm 139:13-18). That’s good news!