As I sat in church, I had a million different thoughts bouncing around in my head. “Did I forget to add salt to the potatoes for lunch? Is my baby hungry or just tired? I need to get the garden weeded. I have to make sure and talk to my friend before she leaves after church.” On and on it went; rapid-fire and scattered all over the place.
Occasionally, the pastor’s words would drift into my reverie, “….lost souls need Jesus….doing our part to reach those around us…Jesus is coming soon.” I acknowledged these with a vague indifference. I had heard these sentiments so many times before. Yes, Jesus is coming soon and I want to be ready but here in the present moment I am so busy and tired from everyday life, I find it hard to focus.
I am ashamed to admit such thoughts, but I feel that it is important to share them in the hope that I am not the only one that struggles with this. I have spent my life going to church every week and sometimes I feel like I have heard so many sermons, skits, and worship talks, that I am calloused to their messages. This is a grave problem, and one I must address.
Remember the Times
I remember the times in my life when I have felt the passionate fire of serving God. When I was a kid I would write encouraging notes or Bible verses and leave them all over town. I loved volunteering to help in the children’s ministry division of our church. I had a prayer journal that I filled with everyone I could think of to pray for.
It’s not that I don’t care about those things anymore; I’m just too caught up with the business of day to day life to put them on the front burner.
It’s not good enough to lament my lukewarm spiritual life. Recognizing that I need to reignite the fire is the first step. I need a heart change to rejuvenate my walk with God. I desperately want to feel the fire again and ignite those around me.
God knows my need even before I realize it. He is waiting for permission to change me. “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him…” (Revelation 3:19, 20).
I am ready for a change and He is waiting to fill me with His fire again. Are you?
